I wanted my introduction to "The Blog World" to be funny, but I have been tormented by this subject matter so much that I have decided to make it the subject of my first blog. What is that subject? BOOGERS! Yes. I have seen so many boogers in the public setting that I have been inspired to write about them.
Many people who know me know that 'spitting' is probably my biggest pet peeve. I find it to be an extremely disgusting habit. If a man wants to end a date with me, all he has to do is spit. Well, I might not end the date but I will hurt his feelings if he moved in for a kiss. What woman would kiss a man after watching him expel a massive mixture of saliva and mucus from his mouth? Not me! But I digress. I mean, I did say I was going to write about boogers.
How many people have seen a boogie smeared on a wall? Don't be shy. I have to be honest (and this is nasty in itself); I think I'm drawn to them. When I see them, I have to get really close to inspect it. I guess I do this out of disbelief that people actually think it's okay to smear their body secretions on public walls. I mean, what you do in your home is your business, but smearing boogers on the wall?! THAT'S JUST NASTY!
I live in 4-story apartment building that has an elevator. (Stories about my apartment building are soon to come.) The inhabitants of my apartment building are nasty creatures in general and I will bite my tongue regarding how I truly feel for fear of being categorized as elitist (because I'm only a little elitist, not a lot). Anyway, every other day I get on my elevator and see a new boogie. Some people might be wondering how I manage to notice new boogies every other day. If you were paying attention earlier, I said I was DRAWN to them! Big boogies. Little boogies. Bloody boogies. You name it; it has been in my elevator. It's like a have a 6th sense or something that alerts me to the presence of boogies. It drives me crazy.
Have you ever been in a bathroom stall, minding your own business (while doing your business) only to look up at a boogie staring you in the face? I have, and it's disgusting. THERE IS TOLIET PAPER IN THE STALL!!!!!!!!!! Why would somebody wipe a boogie on the wall when there is paper right beside you? I will never understand it. I mean, is there something about the sensation one feels during the act of wiping a boogie on the wall? Please enlighten me because I just don't get it!
And you know what really bothers me about the bathroom stall situation? It's the fact that it's the ladies' room. These are WOMEN wiping boogers on the walls. I expect men to be trifling, but women? THAT'S JUST NASTY! We're supposed to be the cleaner creature.
So, I need to be honest about why I was compelled to finally write this. I started working at a non-profit about 2 weeks ago. The office is in the building with a lot of other non-profits that, hmm... let's just say keep some pretty interesting company. I work on the 3rd floor and usually take the steps down. As I walked down the steps (on my first day), there it was: The ULTIMATE booger on display for the world to see. So, you know I had to do a thorough inspection. Why, because I'm DRAWN to them. It had to be 3 inches in length and an inch and a half in width. I know some people have big noses but I can't imagine how that much mucus could come out of a person's nose. JUST NASTY! I was tempted to take a picture and post it but opted not to disgust you anymore than I probably already have.
What is the moral of this blog? STOP PUTTING BOOGERS ON WALLS. IT'S JUST NASTY!
